tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48893792683644177072024-03-18T20:25:48.482-07:00Chaotic FragmentsY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-47576630187246728102011-07-15T17:33:00.000-07:002011-07-15T17:35:36.855-07:00Updated Birthday Wish ListMy 21st birthday wish list:<br /><br />1- Macbook Air or Pro<br />2- Lion lubie (however you spell it) or any lubie really<br />3- Xbox kinect + games<br />4- Ipad<br />5- OPI nail polish<br />6- Original Rayban sunglasses<br />7- Graphic t-shirts<br />8- Summer dress or random clothing<br />9- Perfume<br />10- Juicy couture bag<br />11- Any amount of money<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">12- Cute forever21 necklace or bracelet </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">13- A hat</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">14- Harry Potter merchandise</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">15- An angry bird plushie </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">16- Stuff with cats on them</span><br /><br />*will probably add/remove some of them as time passes<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">i - are updates </span>Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-4312279223417910172011-06-25T05:58:00.001-07:002011-06-25T08:15:12.369-07:00Birthday Wish ListI know my birthday is in August and i shouldn't be writing this so early but i just felt like it<br /><br />My 21st birthday wish list:<br /><br />1- Macbook Air or Pro<br />2- Lion lubie (however you spell it) or any lubie really<br />3- Xbox kinect + games<br />4- Ipad<br />5- OPI nail polish<br />6- Original Rayban sunglasses<br />7- Graphic t-shirts<br />8- Summer dress or random clothing<br />9- Perfume<br />10- Juicy couture bag<br />11- Any amount of money<br /><br />*will probably add/remove some of them as time passesY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-26327036815570653412011-06-25T05:57:00.000-07:002011-06-25T05:58:16.263-07:00As usualAs usual i never finish what i start. June is almost over and my last post was in May. Fail.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-54214759268229454452011-05-11T15:33:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:27:36.184-07:00I ♥ art<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4S1B5MC5ssp4oX7udgsMMdjtLkTqL_SdB9XOBN_qTBFOLY2KaGmnxgQm19oDPUMOwTJfd0reSlek6w9HGTLhkCrC0NYVyPJolisV8e6FAgNpu6yJ9gJExxt6I5M9J9Iowf9cL0N8EKhs0/s1600/julianbialowas13.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 476px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4S1B5MC5ssp4oX7udgsMMdjtLkTqL_SdB9XOBN_qTBFOLY2KaGmnxgQm19oDPUMOwTJfd0reSlek6w9HGTLhkCrC0NYVyPJolisV8e6FAgNpu6yJ9gJExxt6I5M9J9Iowf9cL0N8EKhs0/s320/julianbialowas13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605589970807869842" border="0" /></a><br />Source unknown<br /><br />My major is International Business and come Fall I'll hopefully graduate and enter the working force full time. How does this relate to the photo above? Well I regret taking up this major. I try not to regret things I've done in my life, decisions I've taken or anything like that but I can't help but regret giving in to my dads wishes and studying this. You see I really wanted to study something artsy like photography or graphic design but my dad didn't agree with my choices and since hes paying for tuition I had to give in and study something business-y. So here i am. Three years after that decisions been made and i still long for art. I still wish i had changed my major three years ago and went with my hearts desires.<br /><br />However, i try to console myself with the fact that maybe one day i could go back and study whatever i want or maybe continue learning by myself. I will continue taking photographs and designing. I think its in my blood. I don't really know how good i am but I'd like to become amazing at it. I'll keep going forward. I will keep on traveling to new destinations and snapping shots wherever i go. I will always have photoshop or any other kind of software on my laptop and try to always get inspired.<br /><br />Another art form I'm into is writing. I do get writers block often but whenever i can, i write. I may not be as good as J.K Rowling but i hope to be one day.<br /><br />I've also tried acting. I discovered that i like it quite a lot. I only did one course back when i was about 15 and it was only stage acting and that meant we had to memorize and get the play perfect but hey its still acting. I'm grateful for that course and my mentors because they helped me quite a bit. I became less shy and gave me the courage to get up and speak in front of a crowd.<br /><br />To make a long story short. I ♥ art.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-32267896819111596822011-05-11T14:22:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:27:36.014-07:00Book Post<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVNqh7xGI29ePHCB5Pxm014jIlYw2GuAMzaWAwkstpBQMcqvkC5wFDV-JxlJVmuSgN-ANaudMOivPv80xnuf9_yiG2zizmh0yinlcAXG4uGZPgFKEalyirJ2i5jGnH0HmoZPyZd5khRd0g/s1600/Image6.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVNqh7xGI29ePHCB5Pxm014jIlYw2GuAMzaWAwkstpBQMcqvkC5wFDV-JxlJVmuSgN-ANaudMOivPv80xnuf9_yiG2zizmh0yinlcAXG4uGZPgFKEalyirJ2i5jGnH0HmoZPyZd5khRd0g/s320/Image6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605572823653545298" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I got this book a while back and read a couple of pages but then for some reason didn't finish it. I picked it up today and started reading. I got it from Virgin MegastoreY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-47771453459821651232011-05-11T14:18:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:27:36.223-07:00Lets get startedSo I just finished my final exams yesterday and I've decided to be more active on blogger. I've said this over and over again A LOT. I know I know. Lets give it another shot.<br /><br />I'll be doing many random things on here. Might do some book reviews or something book-related. Might start a fashion blog or a simple outfit of the day photos (OOTD). Very random things actually. So lets get started!Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-2471533499371750492011-05-06T16:22:00.000-07:002011-05-06T16:30:36.084-07:00Broken AngelTonight's no different than any other night. Tonight's the same. Four months have passed and I still find myself lost, insecure, tired, alone, helpless, annoyed, pissed off, depressed, desperate and simply heart broken.<br /><br />I know no amount of words will bring you back. No amount of tears will soften your heart. No amount of begging or pleading will persuade you. No amount of dreams will make us a reality.<br /><br />I had you. Or rather thought I did for a while. But i guess the truth is the circumstances drew the line, i was never yours and you were never mine. It was heavenly while it lasted. I loved every second of it. No regrets whatsoever.<br /><br />One of my selfish wishes is that you remember me. That one day you'll look back and ask yourself why you let go. Maybe one day you'll tell someone about me. About us. Our hopes. Our dreams. Our fantasies.<br /><br />There's no point in me typing up these words because i know you'll never read them. There's no point waiting for you because i know you don't want me. You don't need me..<br /><br />As much as those words hurt i say them because they're the truth. Or maybe they're all lies.. I guess I'll never know with you...<br /><br />If i could turn back time i wouldn't change a thing. All the smiles, the laughter, the tears, the hugs, the kisses. Staying up all night talking to each other. Falling asleep together... they all seem very unreal now.. like they're fragments of someone else's memories. Not my own.<br /><br />Its probably very selfish of me to want you back.. to wish for you.. but i cant help it..<br /><br />I'm sorry..<br /><br />I dont know how to turn of a feeling...<br /><br />Please forgive me for that ounce of humanity in me..Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-41198107208640173042011-04-28T18:37:00.000-07:002011-04-28T18:38:47.329-07:00..Waiting..Waiting because I'm dumb. Waiting because I'm stupid.<br />Waiting because I'm an idiot. Waiting because I can't let you go.<br />Waiting because my heart wont you go.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-45970018810120727342011-04-28T18:34:00.000-07:002011-04-28T18:36:24.214-07:00Personal Whispers"I'm so tired" she whispered to herself, wishing he'd understand.<br />"I need you" escapes her lips as the image of him fades away.<br />He can't hear her. He doesn't want to anyways.<br />Tears escape her eyes. Words overwhelm her. Her heart breaks once again.<br />A clean low sound. Like the snapping of a flowers stem.<br />Her black hole gets even deeperY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-34783819504996568042011-03-21T17:47:00.000-07:002011-03-21T17:48:28.879-07:00Such a fool<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>AR-SA</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I miss you..i called out to no one in particular</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">My only reply..silence</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I miss you..i called out again childishly..hoping maybe this time he’d hear me</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A voice in my head reprimands me..you fool..you stupid idiotic fool..</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">He loves you not..misses you not.. you do not dwell in his mind..you do not appear in his dreams, waking or otherwise...he does not want you nor need you..he does not desire you nor fear you..you are nothing to him..merely a winter nights ghost..an unwanted apparition..<i>an idiotic mistake..</i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I<i> love</i> him..i whisper to the voice..my heart quivers in my chest..my breath coming out ever so slightly against my dry lips..i still love him..i hang my head..swallow my useless love..</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Forget…the voice urges…let go…be gone hurtful one…I banish you…</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">No..i protest..No..</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Child, it does not do to dwell upon dreams..wishes and desire…and forget to live</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I have long forgotten the ways of the living…I do not live as do others…I roam this earth..soullessly…aimlessly…an empty shell of what once was me…a bare vessel..</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A silent breeze plays with strands of my hair…teasing me…my eyes droop ever so faintly.. and I tap away at this device you call a laptop..wishing he could read these words as I type them…as if they could materialize into his skull as I write them..i can see them now..slowly taunting him..begging him to read them..</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Such a fool..oh such a fool.. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></p>Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-6421312404799522382010-12-20T05:58:00.000-08:002010-12-20T06:00:34.990-08:00.What have i ever done to deserve this?<br /><br />I've gone through life bending over backwards not to hurt anyone, I've never chosen my own happiness and well being over anyone else. And the one time i choose myself, this shit happens.<br /><br />I wish i never existed<br />Strike me now<br />End this<br />I cant take it anymoreY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-5825231090781746552010-11-15T16:06:00.000-08:002010-11-15T16:07:17.719-08:00FactTo love is to receive a glimpse of heaven..<br /><br /><br />Fact.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-11006348000119667182010-11-15T12:42:00.001-08:002010-11-15T12:45:26.988-08:00Why?Why is it that when you give up on something, suddenly it does exactly what you wanted?<br /><br />Why is it that when you stop wishing, an old wish you made years ago comes true?<br /><br />Why is it that when you finally accept the unhappiness bestowed upon you, you are given a glimpse of heaven?<br /><br />Why is it that the fairytale you've always wanted, decides to show itself to you just when you stop believing in it?<br /><br />Why is it that you simply cannot control your heart?Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-70775251174196648002010-11-03T14:51:00.001-07:002010-11-03T14:55:33.567-07:00Been BusyAh crap i neglected the blog again. Fail.<br /><br />I meant to keep up with posting and stuff but i got a bit too busy and completely forgot about this blog. *sigh*<br /><br />Anyways, October is over and here is November, which is proving to be a good month so far. Hope it lasts.<br /><br />I've been joining way too many things around Uni and stuff that I've been coming home exhausted and extremely hungry at times. I finally am starting to read properly again. Well not properly like before but i try to whenever i have a break and have nothing to do and no one to sit with, which admittedly happens every day as i really do not have anyone to sit with. I lead such a solitary life. It's very fun huh? Extremely fantastic to be so alone, all the time.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-8041623941836061882010-10-22T13:14:00.000-07:002010-10-22T13:18:41.176-07:00October Bad SpellOctober hasn't been treating me very well. I was having a very bad month, encountering lots of shit every day. Personal problems became so annoying. But hopefully the bad spell is over now and I'll be having good or at least boring event-less days.<br /><br />Spent a while tidying up my room a little, I'm being very OCD and feeling like i should be organized and fix up my mess.<br /><br />That's it for now. Rant over.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-11090335729678903682010-10-16T14:14:00.001-07:002010-10-16T14:17:11.564-07:00IrritatingThis is so fucking irritating. It's so annoying to the point that i would actually get violent.<br /><br />I hate girls. I hate stupid idiotic overly confident evil eye giving bitches. You all must die. JUST DIE.<br /><br />Leave me alone. Leave him alone. Leave us alone. And die.<br /><br />Stop doing this shit. Just stop it. I can't take it anymore and i feel like I'm going to explode.<br /><br />Every time this happens i try and try so hard to contain my anger. I try so hard to put a smile on and laugh. Just fucking stop it.. oh and die. Please, thanks!Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-62472677415952988882010-10-14T13:41:00.000-07:002010-10-14T13:49:06.604-07:00The Weekend Is Here!Finally the weekend is here!<br /><br />October hasn't been a good month for me. So much drama, so many problems and overall gloom and doom. I've been having bad days for a while, nothing goes right and something just HAS TO go wrong. Please let this be a slow event-less weekend!<br /><br />The one good thing i can mention is the fact that the weather is starting to get cooler. We've been having a cool breeze for a couple of days. It actually felt cool today. Sort of like a perfect weather as it wasn't too hot or too cold, this was in the afternoon obviously as the sun at midday is horrible. So hello winter! Hello to jackets, coats, boots, tights, scarves and sweaters. Hello to hot tea with milk, hot chocolate, hot baths and possibly rainy days.<br /><br />I love you summer but I'm sort of tired of you, bye bye now, see you next year!<br /><br />So lately I've been looking at photos of overfilled bookshelves, huge libraries and simply books in general and it made me wish i had a large library. It made me wish i had shelves upon shelves of books. I need to start reading again. I was hoping I'd be able to in Uni but i really haven't had the time. Hopefully i will do some much needed reading this week. <span style="font-style: italic;">Hopefully. </span>Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-38860938860208885982010-10-08T14:16:00.000-07:002010-10-08T14:21:08.455-07:00H.A.T.EI hate you.<br /><br />I hate you for getting whatever you want. I hate you for being so fucking spoiled. I hate you for getting away with things. I hate you for getting things before i ever did. I hate you for existing.<br /><br />I hate you too.<br /><br />I hate you for flaunting it. I hate your confidence. I hate your smile. I hate your photos.<br /><br />I hate money. I hate my internet. I hate my clothes. I hate my bed. I hate my body. I hate my health. I hate my face. I hate my teeth. I hate my eyes. I hate my hair. I hate my nose. I hate my skin. I hate my stomach. I hate my colon. I hate my thighs. I hate my legs. I hate my toes. I hate my toenails. I hate my fingernails. I hate my moles. I hate my chest. I hate my butt. I hate my lips.<br /><br />I hate facebook.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-55676952647284495262010-10-05T14:32:00.000-07:002010-10-05T14:35:08.287-07:00BusyI haven't had much time for blogger since Sunday. I've been very busy with Uni and had to deal with lots of drama and many problems. I'm exhausted and have been since Sunday. I hope it gets better, i hope i can manage my time better starting next week.<br /><br />I had to study math for the first time since i finished high school, i had numbers whirling around in my head for a while but at least i understand the material so far. Hope i do well.<br /><br />Bye for nowY.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-31377041061904673132010-10-02T04:07:00.000-07:002010-10-02T04:18:00.430-07:00JealousyJealousy: [jel-uh-see] <div class="dndata"><span id="hotword"><span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">mental</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">uneasiness</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">from</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">suspicion</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">fear</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">rivalry,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">unfaithfulness,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">etc.,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">as</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">in</span> love </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><span id="hotword"><span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span style="cursor: default; background-color: transparent;" id="hotword" name="hotword">aims.<br /><br />So I'm mental? Apparently i am. I've been suffering jealousy and envy for a long time. It's never easy to be jealous of someone, its a very hateful feeling, just awful. It happens without one really knowing or meaning it, well at least sometimes. I don't like feeling this way. I never thought I'd be feeling this way almost everyday. But the sad truth is.. i am. I'm jealous of people healthy enough to pursue whatever they want. Jealous of people who own material goods that i don't own. Jealous of certain characteristics that some people have that i don't. Jealous of physical features that celebrities or any normal human being have. Jealous of the amount of attention that people seem to get without even asking for it, without even realizing how much attention they're <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>getting, to the point that they even <span style="font-style: italic;">expect </span>it!<br /><br />This blog seems to be turning into a place for my negative and most hateful thoughts and feelings.. but i just can't fucking help it..<br /><br />I hope to God that tomorrow will be a good day.. even thought i highly doubt it..I'll be prepared for anything.. any little rainy cloud that longs to rain over my head.. <br /><br />Tomorrow I'll bring a book along to occupy myself, to hide, to lose myself into another realm, a strangers life and point of view..<br /></span> </span></div><span class="pronset"><span class="show_spellpr" style="display: block; margin-top: 8px;"><span class="prondelim"></span><span class="prondelim"></span></span></span><span class="pronset"><span class="show_spellpr" style="display: block; margin-top: 8px;"><span class="prondelim"></span><span class="prondelim"></span></span></span>Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-14983309918665817752010-10-01T13:09:00.000-07:002010-10-01T13:16:43.685-07:00Cant Fight ItI've always hated people with big ego's, people who love themselves (too much in my opinion), people who are over confident, people who call themselves all kinds of "good" adjectives like "sexy" and "hot", people who get complimented by those "good" adjectives on a daily basis...<br /><br />How the hell did i end up sharing my everyday moments with a person like that? A person who loves the opposite sex so much? Maybe too much?<br /><br />I don't like it and there's nothing i can do that will make a change. Not a significant change anyways.<br /><br />I can't fight it, i can't help it, there's nothing i can do that will distract that person long enough. I've tried a lot of ways, none of them work long enough.<br /><br />It's like no matter what i do, no matter what outfit i put on, no matter what pair of heels i wear, no matter any amount of make up on my face will make enough of an impact to last a while.. it only works in the moment but i think the memory fades the exact next day and I'm back to square one all over again.<br /><br />I hate feeling this way so much.. & sadly I'm going to encounter this feeling on a daily basis all over again starting Sunday..Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-91168756972473150242010-10-01T01:21:00.000-07:002010-10-01T01:27:29.166-07:00October 1stI want to attempt to write at least one blog post a day but often find myself staring at a blank box for a long time and still have nothing to write.<br /><br />Anyways, I'm in bed -well sitting on top if it- in my pajamas as usual. Staring at my blackberry, willing it to ring..<br />Hah pathetic aren't it?<br /><br />I feel like such a nerd. I've had my Uni notebook, file and pens ready for ages.. Oh well.. at least i wrote a little something.Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-51946764785112816622010-09-30T13:34:00.000-07:002010-09-30T13:39:30.199-07:00Goodbye SeptemberSo its the last day of September and the song "wake me up when September ends" is echoing in my head. I'm ending this month on blogger with only 11 posts, mainly because I don't have such an eventful and interesting life to write about. But it felt right to type a little something tonight. So goodbye September and hello October. Time seems to fly by.. scary..<br /><br />I'm starting Uni again this Sunday with 5 subjects that i hope I'll be able to pass with good grades.. damn i have maths *dies* I really really hope i don't fail it!<br /><br />The clock ticks by warning me that midnight is very close and that i should hurry up and type something decent and post it before the clock strikes 12..<br /><br />I don't have anything decent to type sadly. All i have is a mind full of whirling emotions.. disappointment.. hurt.. solitude..Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-84833298538057929412010-09-18T09:04:00.000-07:002010-09-18T09:07:05.556-07:00Seriously?Seriously, am i going to feel this way for the rest of my life?<br /><br />Am i always going to feel left out and out of place? Will i ever 'fit in' ?<br /><br />Everywhere i go..no matter what i do or look like, no matter what i wear or dont wear.. its a constant battle of feeling so so alone and not included...<br /><br />Maybe I'd feel better in Hogwarts.. *sigh*Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4889379268364417707.post-73229478869554931352010-09-15T13:36:00.000-07:002010-09-15T13:39:37.465-07:00Craving FoodI'm craving food..lots and lots of food..<br /><br />McDonalds McChicken and french fries with Pepsi<br />Burger King chicken tenders and french fries<br />KFC popcorn chicken and french fries<br />Dairy queen tripe scoop vanilla ice cream<br />Penne Arabiata<br />Spaghetti Bolognese<br />Brownies<br />Chocolate chip Cookies<br />Vanilla cupcakes<br />Pansit<br />Chicken grills<br />Chello kebab<br /><br />and so much more... :(Y.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01151845086168075167noreply@blogger.com0