Put A Smile On

So I've been reading posts from my old blog back in 2008 and saw that i still have the same feelings, still have the same issues and still want to rant about them.

I don't really know if its healthy to do this because i keep going back to the same subjects over and over again. It's probably healthy to get things out of your system but probably not so good to bring up the same issues.

I don't know though.. i mean i still do feel the same.. i still have the exact same moments when i feel so.. utterly crestfallen.. moments when i just want to lock myself up somewhere and cry my eyes out. I may have gotten better at hiding those moments, may have gotten better at keeping the tears at bay but that doesn't mean i don't feel so shitty and so so damn sad inside...

I have been away from the source of my rants for a while but come fall it'll all come flooding back, i just know it.. I guess i have to be prepared for that to happen. I have to brace myself and say 'hey, theres no hiding from this no matter how much you want to. Just suck it up, put a smile on and try to ignore it'

I know that ignoring wont make it go away.. or would it? Oh i don't know.. i don't know what to think anymore..