Utter Bliss

I find myself getting so bored to the point where i actually want to go back there. I actually want to go back to being busy and tired and always on the go.

I never felt like i fit in anywhere, always out of place. No matter where i go, where i join or who I'm with there's always this nagging feeling inside that it just isn't right, these are not the people I'm supposed to be with, not the place I'm supposed to be in.. but there's always an exception to the rule, isn't there? I only feel at home with one person and i hope i always feel at home with him.

But other than that, it's always the same feeling.

I didn't have this feeling this strongly years ago. There were two places where i felt like i belonged, a bestfriend i used to have.. and a circle i used to love, used to look forward to, used to feel like home.

& now I'll obviously go back to one of those places sooner or later, I'll need distractions or I'm doomed. Funny how a book can become your bestfriend overnight. Funny how its your salvation, your refuge to stare into its sheets of paper, to read each word hungrily, to be so involved into its paragraphs that for an instant you forget where you are and who you're surrounded with..and it becomes utter bliss..