Family Issues

Since today's the second day of Eid so that means my parents, sister and i go to a family lunch on my dads side of the family. It's an old tradition that goes back as far as i can remember. I remember i used to be a little happy to see my cousins, whom i had fun playing with. I was too young to notice anything so i think that's why i was happy and carefree. I didn't feel the tension in the air. I didn't notice some remarks, some harsh dealings and words. I never noticed anything. But now that I'm much older, i notice..

At some point while growing up i started hating going to these lunches. I don't remember exactly when the hate started but I'm guessing sometime between 12 and 13. I would dislike going there but i still did not notice much. I liked talking to my uncle's Filipino wife though.

I don't know why i don't have a normal family, its like everyone is forced to attend these lunches and everyone's just sitting there waiting for it to end, making small talk, eating, drinking tea and such.

I sometimes wish i had a normal family life. I listen to other people's version of gatherings, see people's photos with their cousins and think...why don't i get to have that too?