mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
So I'm mental? Apparently i am. I've been suffering jealousy and envy for a long time. It's never easy to be jealous of someone, its a very hateful feeling, just awful. It happens without one really knowing or meaning it, well at least sometimes. I don't like feeling this way. I never thought I'd be feeling this way almost everyday. But the sad truth is.. i am. I'm jealous of people healthy enough to pursue whatever they want. Jealous of people who own material goods that i don't own. Jealous of certain characteristics that some people have that i don't. Jealous of physical features that celebrities or any normal human being have. Jealous of the amount of attention that people seem to get without even asking for it, without even realizing how much attention they're really getting, to the point that they even expect it!
This blog seems to be turning into a place for my negative and most hateful thoughts and feelings.. but i just can't fucking help it..
I hope to God that tomorrow will be a good day.. even thought i highly doubt it..I'll be prepared for anything.. any little rainy cloud that longs to rain over my head..
Tomorrow I'll bring a book along to occupy myself, to hide, to lose myself into another realm, a strangers life and point of view..
So I'm mental? Apparently i am. I've been suffering jealousy and envy for a long time. It's never easy to be jealous of someone, its a very hateful feeling, just awful. It happens without one really knowing or meaning it, well at least sometimes. I don't like feeling this way. I never thought I'd be feeling this way almost everyday. But the sad truth is.. i am. I'm jealous of people healthy enough to pursue whatever they want. Jealous of people who own material goods that i don't own. Jealous of certain characteristics that some people have that i don't. Jealous of physical features that celebrities or any normal human being have. Jealous of the amount of attention that people seem to get without even asking for it, without even realizing how much attention they're really getting, to the point that they even expect it!
This blog seems to be turning into a place for my negative and most hateful thoughts and feelings.. but i just can't fucking help it..
I hope to God that tomorrow will be a good day.. even thought i highly doubt it..I'll be prepared for anything.. any little rainy cloud that longs to rain over my head..
Tomorrow I'll bring a book along to occupy myself, to hide, to lose myself into another realm, a strangers life and point of view..
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