.

What have i ever done to deserve this?

I've gone through life bending over backwards not to hurt anyone, I've never chosen my own happiness and well being over anyone else. And the one time i choose myself, this shit happens.

I wish i never existed
Strike me now
End this
I cant take it anymore

Fact

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven..


Fact.

Why?

Why is it that when you give up on something, suddenly it does exactly what you wanted?

Why is it that when you stop wishing, an old wish you made years ago comes true?

Why is it that when you finally accept the unhappiness bestowed upon you, you are given a glimpse of heaven?

Why is it that the fairytale you've always wanted, decides to show itself to you just when you stop believing in it?

Why is it that you simply cannot control your heart?

Been Busy

Ah crap i neglected the blog again. Fail.

I meant to keep up with posting and stuff but i got a bit too busy and completely forgot about this blog. *sigh*

Anyways, October is over and here is November, which is proving to be a good month so far. Hope it lasts.

I've been joining way too many things around Uni and stuff that I've been coming home exhausted and extremely hungry at times. I finally am starting to read properly again. Well not properly like before but i try to whenever i have a break and have nothing to do and no one to sit with, which admittedly happens every day as i really do not have anyone to sit with. I lead such a solitary life. It's very fun huh? Extremely fantastic to be so alone, all the time.

October Bad Spell

October hasn't been treating me very well. I was having a very bad month, encountering lots of shit every day. Personal problems became so annoying. But hopefully the bad spell is over now and I'll be having good or at least boring event-less days.

Spent a while tidying up my room a little, I'm being very OCD and feeling like i should be organized and fix up my mess.

That's it for now. Rant over.

Irritating

This is so fucking irritating. It's so annoying to the point that i would actually get violent.

I hate girls. I hate stupid idiotic overly confident evil eye giving bitches. You all must die. JUST DIE.

Leave me alone. Leave him alone. Leave us alone. And die.

Stop doing this shit. Just stop it. I can't take it anymore and i feel like I'm going to explode.

Every time this happens i try and try so hard to contain my anger. I try so hard to put a smile on and laugh. Just fucking stop it.. oh and die. Please, thanks!

The Weekend Is Here!

Finally the weekend is here!

October hasn't been a good month for me. So much drama, so many problems and overall gloom and doom. I've been having bad days for a while, nothing goes right and something just HAS TO go wrong. Please let this be a slow event-less weekend!

The one good thing i can mention is the fact that the weather is starting to get cooler. We've been having a cool breeze for a couple of days. It actually felt cool today. Sort of like a perfect weather as it wasn't too hot or too cold, this was in the afternoon obviously as the sun at midday is horrible. So hello winter! Hello to jackets, coats, boots, tights, scarves and sweaters. Hello to hot tea with milk, hot chocolate, hot baths and possibly rainy days.

I love you summer but I'm sort of tired of you, bye bye now, see you next year!

So lately I've been looking at photos of overfilled bookshelves, huge libraries and simply books in general and it made me wish i had a large library. It made me wish i had shelves upon shelves of books. I need to start reading again. I was hoping I'd be able to in Uni but i really haven't had the time. Hopefully i will do some much needed reading this week. Hopefully.